Ever known something for ages and ages, and knowing that you couldn't tell anyone? And it's just really tiring keeping it, because you have to speak about it, and you can't talk about it, and I suppose it's the paradoxical nature of existing or what have you, but it's really hard all the same? And you want to say it, just to get it over and done with. You're tired of it all, and you're tired of pretending and you just want it said so that you can go on and live your life without it hanging over your head?
Probably not. Me neither. Should not write this while half-asleep. I write the strangest things.
Anyway, so other than my self-poseuring, which is probably horribly mawkish, but given that it's 5:00am and I really cannot bring myself to care, what else has happened? People were stupid, sure, but that happens every week. Not really noteworthy. Match's next week, but that's just a big looming thing that just got a lot less looming. It feels rather odd, being on the other side of this, you see. I kinda have a bit of empathy toward Weasley. A bit. Not a lot. It just seems really miserable to play against a team who probably won't want to be there. Kinda a disservice to the team, and to Adalia too. I mean, sure if we win we'll dedicate to her and all that stuff, but it doesn't quite mean the same. Even if the situations are so very different.
I can't really bring myself to pity Malfoy though. I know, turn the other cheek, accept all differences etc. I know that, don't parrot back my own religion at me. I just can't bring myself to. I remember Adalia's death and she didn't even do anything. She was visiting her family after a death in the family! And that's the thing. Mrs Moon didn't bring this on herself. Adalia didn't bring it on herself. Elke didn't bring it on herself. Draco Malfoy did and while I can sorta see why Pansy Malfoy (what do I call her?) is so miserable, and probably Mrs Malfoy too, but I can't feel sorry for Draco Malfoy. He's getting what he deserved -- which is a horrible thought, I know. I shouldn't think that either. But I do, and it's not going to change. There are just somethings you Do Not Do and that's one of them. There's a list of other things too, but I'm never going to convince people of that. It's kinda ironic really, a Hufflepuff preaching these ethics. I'd have thought it be a Gryffindor on the soapbox. Ah well. But I've gotten distracted again, and what was my point again? I know I had one. Oh yeah, that Malfoy's getting judged right about now and how I shouldn't be so satisfied about this, although I am. How this relates to ethics, I don't know. I suspect it was a very convoluted train of logic.
For some reason, I thought it a good idea to get some duelling practice in. I don't really know why I thought this a good idea, or why I decided to essentially blackmail The Boy Who Whinged for it, but at least I know he's not going to go easy, right? Or at least that's what the bruises tell me. Yes, this is in fact the time where you say that I'm an idiot. I know I am. I just don't care. The less said about the experiences the better, however the fact that I have bruises on the backs of my hands just reminded me of it. And yes, my fingers still work. And I know the scars are curious, but you can all get over that now before I hit you with something.
Ancient runes assignment is done! Bow down before me, mere minions, for I have finished the assignment, with almost all of my limbs intact! It's actually pretty cool, if you ask me. After all, how many of you managed to create a talisman that tells you if you're in mortal peril? None, that's what. We rock. Yeah, okay, so I'm giving Potter some credit here. He may be a total wanker, but he did put in the work to, and I'd feel bad if I claimed it all. This doesn't mean that I don't want to drop him in the lake, merely that the assignment is done and I am still alive. What? I thought it a notable achievement. My Arithmancy assignment still has me as having never existed, which I suppose could be rather depressing if I didn't already know that I did exist and I think I've got the Potions assignment under control. This doesn't mean that I won't be desperately trying to get the thing done the night before, but merely that I'm horribly arrogant too. This comes as a surprise? I always knew my arrogance was my worst trait. But....you guessed it. Don't care. It's too early to care.
In fact, if I wasn't so awake now, I'd go back to sleep. That's what I don't like about these journals. You start writing in them so that you go to sleep, and then you wake up further. It's bizarre.